Archive for January, 2010

Figuring out Life on My own.

January 4, 2010

Figuring out life on my own.

Genesis 11:3-7

They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4 Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

5 But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. 6 The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

The Lord doesn’t want us to “make a name” for ourselves. With all the information out there regarding finances, history, self helps, religion…I find myself too trying to adjust my life so that it “works” for me. I find myself trying to change and be “better” so that bad things don’t happen. In reality, I’m stressing myself out. Yes, it is wise to be wise with what the Lord gives me, but it is not wise to constantly be comparing myself to other…comparing what I think I should be, look like or have based on other’s. Isn’t that envy? And isn’t envy a sin?

James 3:16–For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Proverbs 14:30–A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

Ecclesiastes 4:4–And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind

Nothing ever good comes from wanting what others have. It leads to disorder, a dried up spirit and body and is meaningless in the end. There is nothing wrong inherently for wanting better things, but what about my heart? What motivates me…what motivates anyone? Are my intentions pure, or am I doing things out of fear? Fear of God, fear of man, envy/jealousy…it all stems from a lack of trust. The fact of the matter is that I will never figure out everything. I have tried countless times to figure things out and to do things with my own power and being. I have not really gotten anywhere. Just more disappointment and hurts. There are definitely things I need to do better and change, but it has to be through God’s eyes with His help.

Ps 37: 1-8–Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

So with that in mind, Lord help me be the best woman I can be. Help me set aside the money, my time and skills in such a manner that honors You. Help me remain convicted of these things and give me gentle reminders if I appear to You to be getting off track. I would like a heart after yours. I want a heart that wants what you want for me. Lord, help me along this path.

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Psalms 3

January 3, 2010

Lord how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God” (Psalms 3:1).

I know there’s a plan for me for sure. At times it seems like everyone wants something and nothing is going the way I think it should though.

But You O Lord are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head (Psalms 3:3). I have in the past and well honestly still have some level of difficulty swallowing all that implies. When I have cried to you, I know You have heard me. But it really stinks when we “go through”.

I’m sure we all feel that way. How are we supposed to feel protected when life is not what we expected it to be? There are crazy people at work…working on your nerves, a dollar doesn’t seem to go far no matter how many different ways you try to stretch it, relationships with family and friends are not where you want them to be, death, war, and lies are being perpetrated everywhere..and to top it off you are still single with a butt that doesn’t seem to be getting any smaller no matter what you do.  It’s hard to keep focused when we perceive things are going up in smoke all around us. 

How do we as Christians wrap our minds around the fact that God is our shield?  We want punishment and we want it now.  We want change and we want it now.  But that is not how He works.  We are to hope and wait expectantly for You to do “Your thang”.   He is able to do all in His will. We are never going to fully understand God…we can search and search but will never know the fullness of Him (Psalms 145:3, 147:5). But we can know still know pieces of Him.  We know God is love (1John 4:8); He’s righteous (Romans 3:26) and He wants us to know those things about Him (Jer 9:23-24).  These are just a few things we can discover about God.

I for one know You hear me and will help me.  The help may not be the way I want, but I know you do help me and will continue to do so.  I know this because all I need to do is go back and remember how You saved my life at least two times if not three that I can remember.  I’m sure there are more times, but these times stick out.  All I need to do is to remember You telling me that everything would be okay and it was…in some instances the next day and in some the next year.  What do you remember about God? What has He done for you in the past?  What has He showed you? How has He blessed you when you cried to Him? We can all think of at least one thing that will generate a spark of  hope that will sustain us through our troubles.

I refuse to let sleep leave me and worry to set in even though it appears to me that my life isn’t what I expected.  I choose to lay my burdens down at the feet of the One who can move mountains just by the command.  I am assured in my spirit that all my prayers have been heard and answered by You in the way You see fit.  Your ways afterall are much better than mine. 

Thank you for listening to my complaints, concerns, praises and worship…all the while still loving me and blessing me.